In the monastery where I was a novice, there were periods of enforced silence. We were supposed to be listening for God. That I had better figure out if I had the stamina required for a life that would entail long periods of solitary contemplation. That I needed to make friends with being alone. Of course, that was long Belng Covid When the world began to shut down because of the pandemic, I had no choice but to make friends with solitude. But soon, it became my enemy. I was living alone in Los Angeles during a sabbatical year, and suddenly, the aloneness that I had been learning to cherish felt oppressive.
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It morphed into loneliness. There was only Zoom, and that grew old rather quickly. I missed the drama of real life. The past year has been a tutorial in the difference between aloneness and loneliness, the difference between solitude and isolation. I like my own company. When I chose it, I reveled in solitude. When it Differencf imposed on me, I resented it and felt lonely and achy.
One is a state of contentment; the other, a state of restlessness. While the deepest experiences of prayer can occur in times of solitary contemplation, those are not simply moments for me and God. All of the mystical traditions maintain that the apex of meditation is the attainment of oneness with creation and all of humanity. In my aloneness, I become acutely aware that I am Alkne alone. Solitude affords one the experience of deep connectedness and unity with all that is. Rather than being an experience of loneliness, aloneness can be a profound experience of connectedness.
Unless one becomes empty and alone, he cannot give himself in love, because he does not possess the deep self which is the only gift worthy of love. Solitude allow us to contemplate who we really are, our essence, and thus, we are able to share that true self with another—or with many others. Being alone helps us to show Btween for people in more authentic ways.
What does Being Lonely mean?
Loneliness, on the other hand, shuts us down. We stop showing up at all. Now that our communities are beginning to open up again with the arrival of vaccines, we see others with new eyes, eyes that have shed tears at not being able to see them at all.
For the first time in over a year, we are hugging grandparents. We are praying with faith communities that we have seen only through a camera lens. We are lunching with co-workers whose Alonee are no longer covered with unopened mail and dust.]
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